We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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