I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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