You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize