I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
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Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just leave with hair like that
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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