I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
