I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
