I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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