i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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