Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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