i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
