Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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