Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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