Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
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You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I love you.
Bad choice
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