I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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