there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
