I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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