I looked at my own cervix.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
pray to the hookup gods
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
