Your dad touched me again.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You are the jesus of drinking
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Holy shit dude........stairs
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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