and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I smell stomach acid.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize