: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Randomize
