Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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