Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
