i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
