Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
