He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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