I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
