goodnight i made you a song goodbye
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
