she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I deserve this hangover.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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