Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
