You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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