Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
