I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
