i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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