i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
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Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
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Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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