I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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