im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
