You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
