Little spoons don't ask big questions
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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