I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
no you cant smoke seaweed
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
