I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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