i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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