I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
