think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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