I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
