I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
