sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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