I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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