I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
