come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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