playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
