margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The struggles of a small town man whore
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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