I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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