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I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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