I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I love you. Go after that dick
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
