Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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