i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
