as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
