elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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